The Hipster Dialogues

  

Brad: Look at how it's foaming out of the top, like champagne, and it's the champagne of beers. Isn't that hilarious?
Me: I don't think it's funny at all. It's embarrassing. Why can't you drink micro brews like everybody else we know?
Brad: I like High Life.
Me: No you don't. You just think it's cool and ironic to drink it.
Brad: It's not cool.
Me: It's a total hipster beer.
Brad: No!
Me: Yes it is.
Brad: No way. It's not like I'm drinking PBR.
Me: Hipsters don't drink PBR.
Brad: Then how come every time I go to a bar if they have a cheap beer on tap it's always PBR?
Me: Exactly. It's too mainstream now.
Brad: But I've been drinking High Life for years.
Me: No you haven't. And besides, that's what a hipster would say.
Brad: I'm not a hipster.
Me: Okaaaaay.
Brad: What? I'm not.
Me: Well, it's just that you also wear ironic t-shirts and retro sneakers.
Brad: No I don't!
Me: Are you serious? Because you have a pair of Chuck Taylors, a pair of Nike Cortez and a pair of Tiger athletic shoes.
Brad: That's different! I have always worn those.
Me: That is exactly what a hipster would say.
Brad: Anyway, I don't even like the Tiger pair.
Me: You only listen to music that nobody has heard of.
Brad: I can't help it if I like that music.
Me: Neither can hipsters.
Brad: I'm not a hipster.
Me: We don't have cable.
Brad: We've never had cable!
Me: Exactly.
Brad:  I. Am. Not. A. Hipster.