My Top Ten TV Crushes (and Who I Would Actually Have Ended Up With)

I know, for someone who is so opposed to letting children watch TV, I do have a lot of TV related posts. We don't even watch all that often ourselves (and only after the kids are soundly sleeping, of course), but sometimes I run out of anything more interesting to write about. It can't always be about kid stuff, right?

21 Jump Street crush: Officer Dennis Booker joined the Jump Street team during season three, and he stole my 13 year old heart at the same time. He was kind of like Tom Hanson, but a little more suave, a little hotter, and with bigger hair. At least in my mind.

Reality: Officer Tom Hanson was a lot like my crush, Dennis Booker. Just a little less suave, a little less hot, and with smaller hair.

Because They're Funnier in Europe, That's Why

Pulling

Brad:  Why can't they make TV shows like this in America?
Me:  I don't know. We should obviously move to England.
Brad:  Perhaps.
Me:  Really?
Brad:  What?
Me:  You always say you could never live there because they have accents and eat strange food.
Brad:  Well I didn't know it was like that over there.
Me:  Seriously?  Let's move!
Brad:  Maybe.
Me:  Come on, you can work in pest control and let your hair grow; I'll become a slag and drink too much. It'll be just like the shows.
Brad:  Uh, that's not exactly what I had in mind.

The Hipster Dialogues

  

Brad: Look at how it's foaming out of the top, like champagne, and it's the champagne of beers. Isn't that hilarious?
Me: I don't think it's funny at all. It's embarrassing. Why can't you drink micro brews like everybody else we know?
Brad: I like High Life.
Me: No you don't. You just think it's cool and ironic to drink it.
Brad: It's not cool.
Me: It's a total hipster beer.
Brad: No!
Me: Yes it is.
Brad: No way. It's not like I'm drinking PBR.
Me: Hipsters don't drink PBR.
Brad: Then how come every time I go to a bar if they have a cheap beer on tap it's always PBR?
Me: Exactly. It's too mainstream now.
Brad: But I've been drinking High Life for years.
Me: No you haven't. And besides, that's what a hipster would say.
Brad: I'm not a hipster.
Me: Okaaaaay.
Brad: What? I'm not.
Me: Well, it's just that you also wear ironic t-shirts and retro sneakers.
Brad: No I don't!
Me: Are you serious? Because you have a pair of Chuck Taylors, a pair of Nike Cortez and a pair of Tiger athletic shoes.
Brad: That's different! I have always worn those.
Me: That is exactly what a hipster would say.
Brad: Anyway, I don't even like the Tiger pair.
Me: You only listen to music that nobody has heard of.
Brad: I can't help it if I like that music.
Me: Neither can hipsters.
Brad: I'm not a hipster.
Me: We don't have cable.
Brad: We've never had cable!
Me: Exactly.
Brad:  I. Am. Not. A. Hipster.