Christmas Comes but Once Twice a Year

My mother-in-law, who has spent most of her life in Michigan, is moving to Atlanta this month. We are sad to see her go, but since she loves to travel, we're not worried that we won't see her after she goes.  Did I mention that I adore my mother-in-law? Seriously! We talk at least a few times a week, and she is my go-to person for parenting advice. Crazy, isn't it? Not if you know her.

Although we're a little sad that she's moving so far away, we're mostly excited that she's taking the initiative and moving on. So many people grow old and resist change, but here she is packing up and heading south. Not only that, but she is renting a furnished condo there and majorly downsizing furniture and other possessions, so if there were any reservations on our part (there weren't), they might have been helped by this conversation:

Jan: Since I'm leaving most of my stuff, let me know if there is anything you want.
Me: Anything?
Jan: Anything. Except my KitchenAid stand mixer.

This is my favorite piece that I got from her, and it's one I would have gotten anyway, because it was sitting in her basement! It's the dresser from my in-laws' first bedroom set back in the 70s. I love the flower details on two of the drawers. This is actually a "before" picture of it in my dining room, waiting to be painted.  've been looking for a buffet since we moved in, and I think this will look amazing once I am done with it. The color I will use is Farrow and Ball's Orangery. See the quart over by the window? I am kind of scared to use it, in case I can't go back to using regular paint after. At least there is a F&B retailer in Atlanta, so I can save on shipping by having my mother-in-law bring it back to me when she visits!

She also had a friend who was updating her dining room and getting rid of a china cabinet, table and chairs. Jan grabbed them for us, since she was getting a truck anyway to bring us her stuff. Did I mention they were free? Total score! They are 80's oak, and I know oak gets no love these days, but I really don't mind it. We live in a 1920's house, so we're surrounded by oak as it is. The cabinet is in the dining room, but I put the table and chairs in the kitchen. Jan was kind of appalled, but the day I have a matched dining room set, well, that will be the day.

I've got plans for this, too:

In addition to our furniture and various household goods, we got boxes and boxes of Christmas supplies.  The biggest change with Jan moving away is that she won't be hosting Christmas anymore. We've spent every Christmas at her house since Brad and I started dating. There was never any question about whose family we'd spend Christmas with, because Jan and Sam were such generous and welcoming people that they invited my dad to come spend Christmas with us at their house--and he did, every year. It will be nice not to have to travel over the holidays, and I know we'll enjoy making our own Christmas traditions.  It's kind of bittersweet though, because Jan will be here this year, but Brad's sister and her family will not.

At least the girls had a lot of fun going through the Christmas decorations, although I think they may be a bit early this year. I think it's fitting that they decorated the mantle with Jan's portrait--not that the rest of the house escaped unscathed, it just wasn't quite so elaborate.

So here's to Jan and this new phase of her life. I know it's going to be wonderful for her, because that's the kind of person she is. And here's hoping she will celebrate many happy Christmases in our house with us. Although we'll be missing quite a few people, if we can manage even a fraction of the grace, kindness and generosity she and Sam always exhibited, I will feel we've done our part in carrying on family traditions.

Onward.

Loopy

Today was craft day.

Lissie seems to be reacting to something (Maxine too), but we aren't sure what. The only thing different is the new art supplies, and since we had some issues last week too, we're thinking one (or more) of them is the culprit. If you're not sure why that is a big deal, you may want to read this post: The Feingold Diet: One Year Later, part 1

Despite that, we managed to stick to routine and do a craft.

We started with these:

Fairies in the Ring

(a spontaneous poem, as spoken by Lissie)

The fairies dance in the moonlight
They give you wishes in the shine of the moon
Their silver cloaks show in the moonlight
The moon is guided into the fairy ring
The children sleep inside their beds, safe from harm
and giants, and monsters
The fairies dance until it's dawn
The day starts up, the fairies disappear
The fairies are in Fairy Land
Safe from harm in their fairy beds.

The Scene of the Crime

Don't be alarmed, it's only paint.

Rabbit vs. Turtle

This week we added something new to our school routine. I found this great curriculum by Stress Free Kids which helps kids learn how to reduce stress, anxiety and anger by using visualization and relaxation techniques.

On a Good Day

There is dancing:

Helping:

And everything is put away when we are finished:

So we can craft:

Tiny golden cloaked fairies sleeping in peanut shell beds:

(after a long night of bringing in the harvest):

And smiles:

The Feingold Diet: One Year Later, part 1

Two years ago, Lissie started preschool at age four. A month later, I gave birth to my third child, Maxine. Four months after that, we moved to our new house. It was a joyful time, but also an incredibly stressful time.

It was no surprise when Lissie started acting out. That was a lot for any four year old to handle, let alone one as excitable as Lissie. Lissie has always been a spirited child. When she was born, she came out screaming. Not the sweet mewling cry of a newborn, but screaming. She was incredibly sensitive to everything. She barely slept, even the first few days in the hospital. For the first year of her life she took 20 minute naps. I can't say exactly when she first started sleeping through the night regularly, but it was around the time she turned four. Now, at six, she still wakes up more nights than not.

As an infant, she'd wet her diaper, and immediately cry. She was easily overstimulated and would scream in stores and other unfamiliar places. I got a sling when she was a few months old, and that helped. A little bit. Sometimes. I held her constantly, we co-slept, I nursed on demand. I was exhausted.

As she got older, things got a little better, but she was still very excitable. We used to compare her to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, except that we never knew what would set her off. She was incredibly sweet and funny. She'd charm everybody at family functions, but by the time we were at the car she'd be wild and disobedient, we'd be picking her up screaming and fighting off the ground and forcing her into her car seat.

It wasn't a discipline issue. She has always listened very well sometimes, and other times, not at all. It was very confusing. It was also stressful and isolating, because nobody understood. We tried everything we could think of, everything people suggested, but nothing helped. It was heartbreaking.

Two years ago, I dropped her off for her first day of preschool. Sweet, excited, happy. Normal. I have a video of it. Three hours later, I picked her up and she was different. I braced myself, because I knew what was coming. You could always tell. I was actually hoping to make it home before before it hit, but I opened the banana I'd brought for snack before handing it to her. She screamed that she had wanted to open it herself, and then she continued screaming the entire rest of the 30 minute drive home. We chalked it up to overstimulation, first day of school jitters, and not sleeping well the night before.

The meltdowns started coming more frequently, and the spring after we moved to our new house, they were really bad--almost constant. I knew this was not normal stressed out kid behavior, but I wasn't sure what it was. Then one day, while scanning a homeschooling blog, I serendipitously stumbled across a post titled "Our Year Without Artificial Colors." Can you believe that I almost skipped it? I almost didn't read it, because we generally eat pretty well. I knew all about those kids whose parents let them eat junk food all day, and soda for lunch, and we're not like that.

But I did read it. And it was eye-opening. Life changing, even. The way the woman described her daughter's behavior, going from sweet to animalistic in minutes sounded exactly like Lissie. The anger, the biting, the hitting, the violence, but not all the time, everything she wrote could have been written by me. I wish I could remember the name of the blog, but I have looked for it since and have not been able to find it again.

To be continued...

(cupcake photo - Kat Johnston)