Monday, March 26, 2012

The Five Stages of iPhone Grief

1. Denial: I very calmly took my phone out of the sink, removed it from the case, dried it off, and set it on the bookshelves in the hallway. After the girls were done in the bath, I turned on the phone. The screen lit up for a few seconds, then went dark before I was done powering it off. The screen hasn't worked since, but it still could, right? Maybe if I leave it in the silica long enough?

2. Bargaining: If only my phone will work again, I'll never set it on the edge of another sink. I'll never even take it in the bathroom again. I'll buy a waterproof case. I'll drink a green smoothie every day. I'll keep my eyebrows groomed. I'll play board games with the girls whenever they ask. I'll read a book every week. I'll stop drinking so much wine. I'll exercise. Are you even listening, God?

3. Anger: Why did this happen to me? I'm usually careful with my electronics. My other cell phones have all lasted forever. Why did this one fall in the sink? And why now? It's not fair! How could I be so irresponsible? Everybody knows that electronics and water don't mix. And why is our stupid faucet leaking anyway? I should have noticed the faucet was leaking and set my phone somewhere else. I should have noticed my phone fell in the sink and removed it immediately. I should have had the faucet fixed. It's all my fault.

4. Depression: How will I communicate with people without my iPhone? Sure, I can call them with my flip phone, but what about Facebook? I don't have time to always go to the computer to check it. And I can barely text with this old numeric keyboard! What about Draw Something and Words With Friends? I need a smartphone to play those. Even worse, Instagram, which is only available for iPhone. How am I supposed to post pictures? Probably nobody will even know I exist in three weeks!

5. Acceptance: It's not so bad. I am lucky we had this old flip phone laying around. Now I can't waste time on my phone, so that's a good thing. I'll probably sleep better. And read more books. I already had an iPod, and I can do most of the other things on my iPad. It's no big deal. Plus, I can cancel my data plan and save money. Really, it's like I did myself a favor. I should have dropped it in the sink ages ago.

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